Some quick thoughts, related to my eight-year-old post about husbandliness. I noticed today whilst scrolling about in Tumblr someone hunting for stay-at-home moms on Tumblr, looking for advice and stuff. Said person was having a bit of trouble dealing with coursework as a student and housework as well, therefore thinking about becoming a stay-at-home mom.
I have no comments as to whether not this Tumblrer should finish her degree or stay home.
That’s up to her and her dude.
Also, I don’t know too many details about the lifestyle of this particular dude.
Nonetheless, it reminded me of dudes and keeping house.
Go vacuum or something.
I’m serious, gentlemen. One of the enduring problems of how we regard work — in a world where we (mostly at least play lip service…) think that women should have the same career opportunities (and pay! equal pay for equal work = LOGIC) as dudes — is the devaluing of domestic engineering.
Work outside the home is good.
Work inside the home is good.
Dudes have traditionally dominated work outside the home.
Women are joining them.
Who’s doing the work inside the home, though?
In seeking to gain opportunities for women outside the home, we have inadvertently denigrated work inside the home as inferior or degrading. Even including the raising of children. (As an aside, do we pay nannies so little because they tend to be immigrant women or because we don’t think our kids are worth the money? [Or because we can’t afford more?])
Once we acknowledge the intrinsic goodness of both kinds of work for the functioning of a healthy society, more dudes should be changing diapers. For example. Or washing dishes. Or cooking dinner. Or doing laundry. Or making their wives cocktails. Whatev, y’know?
Not that I’m a perfect example, mind you.
Nevertheless, especially in a situation where my wife is working full-time, it doesn’t strike me as just at any level that the majority or full burden of housekeeping should fall to her. The majority probably does fall to her, and that’s my fault, but I at least try.
And dudes whose wives are staying home all day caring for your children? As a former manny and as a dude who’s heard his share of hearsay, that is actually a very tiring job. Ease the load for her when you get home from work. From what I’ve heard from women, she will appreciate it, and in doing this, you will show her how much you love her.
Share the load.
Oh — and Christian dudes: Doing housework isn’t a very big sacrifice. St Paul calls you to love your wives the same way Christ loves His church. Christ shed his entire life’s blood for the Church. Pretty sure you can do some sacrificial dishwashing. Just sayin’.