Intellectual Looking for Work

Dear Employers of Toronto,

If you’re looking for an intellectual, then look no further.  I, Matthew Hoskin, can bring to you all the benefits of hiring your very own intellectual.

I can read.  A lot.  And quickly.  As I read, my critical thinking skills will cause me to analyse the content, style, and grammar of what I am reading.  I shall seek out flaws in  argument, flow,grammar, syntax, punctuation, and spelling.

My reading skills would enable me to perform any number of tasks from editor to writer to analyst.  I can synthesize information and make it understandable.

Furthermore, I know a lot of things.  I can tell you whether something is true or false, right or wrong.  My studies as an intellectual have brought me into contact with philosophy, theology, history, literature, and ancient languages.  This diverse range of areas of knowledge make me indispensable to a whole range of teams and workplaces.

My years of training as an intellectual have honed my skills as a communicator.  I can make the abstract, abnormal, and abstruse clear to almost anyone.  I can write, and I can write with style.  I also have skills in oral communication.

My graduate studies have demonstrated that I can work like a dog.  I’ll perform excellent, admirable work of top quality for you whether I like you or not, and whether I like the work or not.

I can translate Latin into English.

I can translate ancient Greek into English.

On top of all of these various skills, I can also Highland Dance and play the clarinet.  I feel that there is very little not to like.  So, please.  Hire me.

Sincerely,

Matthew Hoskin, MA

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