things found at the apartment

Well, I’m back in Ottawa after spending a great Christmas with the fam in Thunder Bay. Things I found when I arrived here…

Uncool and disgusting:

Cockroaches like moist places. Toilet bowls are moist. I peed on them before flushing them. It was satisfying in a Godzillaesque way.

Very cool and exciting:

My bed was intact after months of the mattress living on the floor because of the bed’s uncomfortable brokenness. Antoninus, my teddy bear, was holding the following note:

Surprise!

Dear Matthew,

Since we are taking a break from toy making, we decided to surprise you and repair your bed (Santa noticed that it was broken). We also found a second-hand box spring for you.

Happy New Year–and sweet dreams!

Santa’s Elves

So. There you have it. Other than the above two things, everything in the apartment was as I’d left it. And now I’m going to brush my buckies and go to bed in my newly-fixed bed.

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